My Life in Fragments

So, i’ve been thinking lately about my past. What I could do different, how I would do it, how would I come out? Better, or worse? The thing is, i dont remember much about my life, just the bad stuff. Theres bits and pieces I recall from the fragments I can gather, sometimes I can’t distinguish which ones really were there. I never really had a grip on life. Someone threw me in the pool with floaties forgetting to wish me luck. As soon as the walls started to build back up, the next crack was already opening. Looking for anyway to cope with the varies situations going on around me, it’s like i learned how to block it all out while auto piloting my way through it all.  I wish I’d known how important pictures were now, i would have smiled more. I kept a journal for a short while, but I got behind on writing down my thoughts, and the pages became bare. The rest is a blurr im forced to carry over my head and analayze a litttle more every so often without every really getting any satisfaction or answers. I guess sooner then later is a start for deciding to leave my mark. Why not start now?